It’s high time we start being honest about what’s behind a lot of the push towards “wellness”.
It’s ableism and eugenics. Its scared people who can’t face the fact that they could lose their health at any moment.
It’s people who desperately need to cling to control.
First of all I’m not at all opposed to a healthy lifestyle.
I was an avid hiker and yogi who followed a whole foods diet, did regular meditation and followed a lot of wellness influencers.
I still became chronically ill.
When the “wellness” activities didn’t cure me, that community abandoned me.
They looked at me as a failure. They believed I wasn’t “wellness-ing hard enough”.
If it were them, they would be getting better.
The root cause of this is ableism. Disability terrifies people.
The idea that there are conditions which won’t necessarily kill you but will rob you of your quality of life? Its scary.
Knowing there’s no treatments or cure? Terrifying.
But it’s not fair to blame the ones who are suffering. To scrutinize their past behaviour for signs that they brought it on themselves.
To hammer them with unsolicited advice and “tips” for things they could do if they really wanted to get better.
No one asks to be chronically ill. It just happens.
And everyone is one virus, infection, accident or stroke of bad luck away from it happening to them.
The odds that they will be the “exception” are incredibly low.
Let’s not forget that “wellness” costs money. A healthy lifestyle doesn’t come cheap
Disability is expensive. Nothing can prepare you for how devastating it is to spend every cent trying to stay ahead of your dwindling health, only to be told you’re not doing enough
Most of us can’t afford the lifestyle that wellness folks peddle. It’s big business. They’re not helping for altruistic reasons, they’re lining their pockets.
They don’t even care if their recommendations are harmful (and they definitely don’t care if they aren’t helpful)
Please, don’t blame someone for their disabilities. Don’t comb through their past looking for points of “weakness” that can absolve you of facing your own fear of chronic illness
No one is perfect. We’ve all done things that aren’t “healthy”. No one deserves chronic illness
If someone in your life is blaming you, know that you can set firm boundaries to protect yourself.
You don’t have to put up with that kind of gaslighting behaviour
I know it hurts, I’ve been there many many times. But you have the right to walk away
Remind yourself it’s not about you. It’s their fear of the unknown. Their fear of disability. Their own internalized ableism.
One day when they lose their health they will be forced to confront their false beliefs, and there will be a reckoning.
Until that day comes the best we can do is protect ourselves from the toxicity of people who can’t face the reality of our conditions.
We can fight for one another. We can support one another. We can be loud, visible and unashamed.
